I thought I'd share a few insights, quotes, pictures, etc., from Time Out For Women this year, so if you couldn't make it you'd feel like you were there with me. :) Also, I have a lot to ponder and work on and I want to remember it all! So, here are the highlights:
About 2,000 LDS women gathered in the Indianapolis Convention Center this weekend to hear fantastic speakers and musicians provide inspiration and promote unity, which is especially nice so close to Conference weekend! The place was packed--this was during a break so you can't tell how truly full it was, but it was!
The fun ladies I got to travel and sit with:
I was ESPECIALLY grateful for the company. After 2012's TOFW in Salt Lake City, with old roommates and friends (which was LOVELY, but they are ALL stay-at-home-moms and conversations were often, unintentionally, irrelevant and even sometimes hurtful), I *knew* I wanted to take a few friends who were in the same stage of life as me (working, with no kids) to a TOFW a little closer to home. I love these ladies like family and I think a simple girl's weekend out with some amazing speakers was just what all of us needed!
We got to stay in a pretty sweet hotel, not only because it was a huge hotel with a great view (see below) but because it had a skywalk to our parking garage, which had a skywalk to the convention center--so it was very convenient! And the BREAKFAST (which we got for free because they gave us a room with a king instead of 2 queens and couldn't rearrange anything) was AMAZING!!!
 |
| Gorgeous view of the city from our room, on the 24th floor! |
I also actually bought a few things. :) A lil' book from Sister Mary Ellen Edwards (HILARIOUS), and a CD from Jenny Oaks Baker (RIDICULOUSLY talented). Also, check out the cute tote, navy with chevron pockets and a sweet TOFW logo:
ANYWHO, the theme for TOFW this year is "Higher"--think, believe, live higher, in faith and action. So I doodled the theme (among other things) as I listened:
Side note before I go into the actual notes from the speakers and presenters: When did Jericho Road get so old? ;) I remember, vaguely, knowing who they were back in 2001 when they premiered, and let's just say boy bands aren't the same when they are all in their 30s with children. :) Still a fun group, though--I especially loved their homage to every major boy band, ever--that had us all up and moving!
Okay, on to the speakers. :)
John Bytheway
We came in late on Friday, so we missed about 1/2 hour of introductions and John Bytheway's talk. But we came in enough time to hear him recite this beloved poem:
My Life is but a weaving
between my Lord and
me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oft times He
weaveth sorrow,
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I
the under side.
Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to
fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The
dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads
of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves,
He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to
those
Who leave the choice with Him.
~Unknown
He also quoted a lady in his ward, who had been through some truly difficult challenges, and I think every pen in the room went flying when he said it:
"I'm going to stop looking at my God and telling Him how big my problems are, and I'm going to start looking at my problems and tell them how big my God is!"
I love this. Can you imagine if we really could do this with simple faith? That's a paradigm shift right there, at least for me. I know I often start expecting things and complaining to God when they don't happen just as I want them to, and many of my problems probably stem from that. What if, instead of expecting, I just started giving and moving forward with simple faith that God can fight my battles for me?
He also reminded us all that God specializes in fixing broken things. And He wants us to come to Him, no matter who we are, what we've done, or how broken we think we might be--just accept, admit that you are broken--that's what having a broken heart is all about!
Laurel Christensen, "Letting Go of Our Fears"
This was "that talk" for me, the one that was the reason I needed to go to TOFW. I love so many of the things she said, and it really spoke to the common experience of every woman in the world--so many times we divide ourselves up into little camps, the "I've experienced this trial or that fear" camps, but in reality they all boil down to the same fears--fear of loneliness, of loss, of disappointment (which, as she pointed out, hasn't killed anyone yet!), of failure, of success, of stepping out of our comfort zones, of not being enough. There are so many fears, and many of us let them consume us, and that can be devastating and debilitating! We can find ourselves, even after thoughtful prayer and action, like Oliver Cowdery in D&C 9:11: "Behold, it was expedient when you commenced; but you feared, and the time is past, and it is not expedient now." What sort of opportunities are we missing out on because of our fears? Because God won't give us any blessings we are too afraid to tackle. She challenged us, and I challenge you, to write down ONE. Give it a name and a voice so you can battle it.
Then she quoted 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." These are the things we (and the Lord, p.s.) fight our fears with!
1. Fighting fear with POWER:
"Your identity, even if you don't like it, is your comfort zone." Strike a power pose! (That "Wonder Woman" or Victory pose, for 2 minutes--your body language doesn't just give cues to other people, according to studies it also sends YOURSELF messages--if you strike that power pose for 2 minutes, testosterone levels rise and cortizone levels fall!) That power pose, p.s., can be prayer! (See 2 Corinthians 5:17)
2. Fighting fear with LOVE:
"When you stop praying for what you really want, your heart stops wanting what you are no longer willing to pray for." Think about that for a second. I know I can relate to this--are there things in your life that you have stopped hoping for, or praying for? When you give up, your heart really does start wanting other things to take its place--lesser, easier things, usually. This is not to say that our goals cannot change over our lives, but when it comes to important, life-changing, righteous desires, LOVE and HOPE are the same, and we have to petition God faithfully for those things even for as long as we live! "God will not waste a miracle on a doubter." You know that idea of a faith-experiment in Alma 32? Well, the opposite is true, as well--if you stop experimenting, you lose your belief and then even your desires. "The real tragedy is not in not getting something you desire, the tragedy is not wanting it anymore." Of course, she points out, not always will this mean that you'll get it in the end, there are many, many factors that go into which blessings and trials we receive in this life, "but don't let one of the factors be YOU." God *IS* Love, and we call that love of Him HOPE. So fighting fears with love is really fighting with hope and faith in Him, and letting Him fight those battles for us.
3. Fighting fear with A SOUND MIND:
"We sometimes use 'God's will' as a way to abdicate the responsibility to exercise our own." He expects us to make choices, to decide (and tell Him) what we want, to help Him along in answering our prayers. He trusts us as agents unto ourselves (kinda an incredible thought, really), and He doesn't want us paralyzed by fears, disappointments, and all the things that accompany it. She mentioned here that familiar phrase, "When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window," and she said it's not really like that at all. It's not like He says, "Well, you can't walk through this awesome, amazing door, but I'll give you this itty bitty window to crawl through as a consolation prize." :) In truth, He is a master architect and He has doors hidden all over the walls of our lives, and through faith and works we find the doors He planned for us to find. Our job is to walk through them! Just as miracles come after the trials of our faith, PEACE comes after the COURAGE! We don't always get peace before we act, because acting is exercising our agency in courage, or in faith, and THAT'S what He rewards. Remember, "Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them." (2 Kings 6:16) They will always be there, in defense of Abraham's seed.
See why I liked it so much? :)
Mary Ellen Edmunds, "Change Your Mind"
"You don't plant corn and hope and pray for a melon!" This started a great talk about likening the thoughts we have, which ultimately determine our actions and destiny, to planting seeds in a garden. You can't plant anger and other "naughty stuff" in your heart and expect to have compassion, patience, etc. Prepare the soil, nourish it by PONDERING. (She quoted bits of Joseph B. Wirthlin's talk that you can find
HERE--it's a great one about the importance and implications of pondering!) What happens when you don't plant anything? It's not that NOTHING grows. WEEDS grow, and they grow fast! Idle thoughts are our weeds. "To be spiritually minded is life eternal," and that means our minds should be actively engaged in spiritual things. Meditation, daily or weekly, "Thinking On Purpose," is time well spent. Also, it takes time to grow good thoughts and deeds. I think that's one of the many reasons we have been counseled to plant a garden. It's not just about food storage, it's about learning diligence and important principles of faith and timing in an instant world. :) Also, she quoted D&C 6:16, and she emphasized "yea"--like, "YAY!" Yay, you! God knows the thoughts and intents of your heart and he sees good things there! :)
Sandra Turley, "Sparks of Creation"
I also really liked her messages, even though it was all too brief. Of course, she quoted
President Uchtdorf's talk (READ IT AGAIN!) about our innate need as people, and especially as women, to create something that hasn't existed before--because we are children of God, the master Creator, and we each have that spark inside of us. She would share a personal story and then share a broadway song that had new meaning to her (and us) because of that experience. Like "Think of Me" as how Heavenly Father must've felt as He sent each of us to earth. Or "For Good" (from Wicked) as a love letter to her almost-adopted daughter, whom she held and loved after years of awful infertility struggles and a miscarriage, for 43 days before her birth mother changed her mind and took her back. It was touching and moving in every way and I loved it. :)
D. Kelly Ogden, "Pain Amidst the Plan"
I didn't take very many notes, although truthfully it's more because I was getting hungry and sore from sitting at this point. :) So I'm not going to do this talk justice. He likened faith in adversity to climbing a mountain. He talked about his son, who has one leg I think, and a few of his friends with other disabilities who took days to climb this incredible mountain, and the lessons learned through that experience. We recited a lot of hymns that had to do with turning to Christ in our pains and adversity. He quoted Elder Marvin J. Ashton, "Greatness is best measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved." (Love that!) And he said that we are a "Yes" people; because of our faith in Christ, we can say "yes" to answering all the challenges ahead of us.
Jennifer Brinkerhoff Platt, "The Intentional Life"
If you could do just one more thing in your life, one big thing, one big goal, what would it be? She had challenged herself to live with a heightened sense of awareness, to see the parable or lesson in the experiences she has, and her talk reflected this! She noted that "the mission of Jesus Christ is to gather. The mission of Satan is to separate." How true that is! How does Satan lie to you and make you feel separated from others, or from the Love of God? Well, whatever it is, our #1 weapon to combat those lies is the Spirit. And the Spirit comes through intentional, deliberate living. "Does your daily routine reflect what you claim to value?" That's a good question to ponder. She says that we must be confident in serving and doing--we must prepare, participate, and remember. And by participate, she doesn't mean show up or go through the motions--she means willfully, deliberatly take part in. "A talk a day keeps Satan away." Study general conference talks and scriptures with a purpose--ask, "What would the Lord have me see, hear, and know as I study?" Identify principles, promises, and make commitments to act. This all doesn't mean you have to add MORE into your lives! "Just do what you're already doingn with greater intensity and purpose." I love that idea. I think I try hard to live an intentional life, but I know I have areas where I could apply this more--especially in my gospel study as of late!
Emily Freeman, "Reaches My Reaching"
"Welcome the tasks that take you beyond yourself." "Launch out into the deep," like Peter. Peter was a big focus of her talk, actually--what it must've been like for him to leave his nets full of fish, to have the biggest day of his career ever, and to leave it all to follow Christ. Then, later, to walk on water! And then get distracted, sink a little, and reach out to Christ to save him. How we all can relate to that moment! But Christ DOES reach our reaching. "Be wise-hearted, not half-hearted," in following Christ. She quoted one of my favorite quotes of ALL TIME:
“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour." ~Winston Churchill
What holds you back from "walking on water," or whatever your personal miracle and life of faith is? Leave your nets and follow Him! Offer your WHOLE SOUL, and He will reach out for you and lift you up.
***
I hope as you study and ponder these words and the associated talks, scriptures, and music, that you feel inspired to "live higher," too. I feel like we are reaching a critical moment in our world's history in which you are either "going into the mountains" of the Lord and thinking, believing, living HIGHER--or else we're falling fast into the valleys and getting eaten by wolves and vultures. It's a scary time, but it's also a marvelous time, and those who seek Him will be safe. I want to be there, to be able to sing, "It is well with my soul."
