I don't particularly have anything on my mind, or anything fun and crafty to show, I just feel like blogging. Isn't that weird? Why would I feel compelled to write when I have nothing to say, especially since I don't post every day anyway? Maybe it has something to do with being in a procrastinating mood--I really don't feel like being productive at all today. So, yet again, you'll be getting lots of randomness. Sorry that's mostly what this blog is anymore. But I won't promise that will change. :)
Tomorrow, though, I PROMISE, I will post crafty stuff, because tonight is my first ever craft club night! I have no idea how many people are coming--not many, I think, because babysitters are hard to find (especially if dads are busy)...and one interested lady is out of town and another has a grandma in seriously ill condition today and maybe even with LOTS of notice Thursdays are just not as good nights as people thought they'd be. But that's okay. I got my hint o' lime chips and black bean and white corn salsa (DIVINE) and even if no one else shows up, I've got a half dozen old, ratty tee shirts I'm going to transform into something beautiful and useful tonight. :) That has me excited.
I got to babysit for my old neighbors today. It's so fun to see kids grow up. It's also fun to see how much time FLIES when you're having fun, especially with children. Two hours zip right on by when you have a swingset and a fenced in back yard! I can't wait 'til we have a reason to not be in an apartment anymore. Lots of positive childhood memories came floating back today as I played with the boys, and it made me not just nostalgic but a little yearning, too...but not in a bad way. :)
I'm such a SHIPPER. It's funny. Growing up with seriously lacking dating experience, I always thought I was a shipper just because I was living vicariously through these characters, but it turns out that even after being happily married for 3 years I'm as big a shipper as ever, maybe even MORE so. I just love LOVE. I can't help it. I love being in love (especially on the good days) and I love watching other people--real or imaginary--falling in love and staying there (even though it is HARD). Falling in love doesn't make all the conflict or the problems go away, but it does make it worth it. I like that people are beginning to shy away from the "Moonlighting Curse" (don't even get me started on that one) and we're getting to see more of the "after happily ever after" part of the love stories on TV and in books even. I love seeing how love changes people. I'm so glad that most of my entertainment, in any medium--romantic comedies, dramedies, action, or sci-fi, it doesn't matter--put the people I want to be together...together. :) Even if it's the last 15 minutes of a 10-year series (ahem,
JAG)...I get so invested in characters and it's nice to imagine happy endings. I don't think it's naive of me to want happy endings for everyone. Anyway, along comes
Stargate SG-1 (one of my favorites, I'm rewatching just my favorite Sam & Jack episodes these days as I get my chores done) and ruins my almost perfect streak of satisfaction. MAN ALIVE, THOSE TWO ARE SO FRUSTRATING! I totally get it, I really do, but even at the end of the series, everything is implied, everything is subtext, and I am just not a subtext girl anymore. I want them to say out loud and make official things that they only ever could in an alternate reality/alternate timeline/head injuries/memory stamping/WHATEVER...aka I want it to be REAL and STATED and I just wish, even though everyone pretty much already knows they ended up together after the series, that they had come out and SAID SO. Or showed so. Without anything really good making it only as far as the cutting room floor.
*End of rant.*
My "babies," my puppies, are so stinkin' cute sometimes. :) They know what they want/need when they want it--especially attention and affection--and they know exactly what to do to get it, too. When I'm on the computer or my phone too much and Voodoo is needing me to stop it, she literally just crawls right in between of me and the computer/phone/whatever until I have to stop and give her that attention--always so CUTE, too. Obi is kinda the same way. She knows when we are upset and, especially when we yell at her, she knows exactly how to calm us down. She sits (or goes on her bed, if the door is open), and does exactly the move that Bolt learned to do in that movie--head down and tilted, ears back, eyes looking up all cutely, paws crossed sweetly, as if to say, "I'm just a defenseless, language-less little angel, why are you getting so upset?" And she is SO FORGIVING. The second you spray her or stop yelling she immediately runs right up and pushes her nose under your hand and makes amends. She is SO HUMAN. And she's a better one than me sometimes. Voodoo is getting there, although she's more puppy than human right now. But Obi is such a PERSON, I forget sometimes that she is in fact a dog and not my child. And Voodoo is my baby, for sure. :)
I have been REALLY good about eating healthy this last couple of weeks...except not really. I mostly eat fresh fruits and veggies, with a little raw nuts or granola cereal to give it all some staying power. It's amazing how much lighter I *feel* even if I haven't lost any actual weight. Then along comes my dear, adoring, supportive husband, who wants to spoil me with chocolate, and I can't look at these and NOT eat:
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| A lot of people don't like these, but they taste just like Frango, and I LOVE them! |
*Sigh* Dieting would be easier if he needed to get skinny, too. It's WAY HARD to cook/eat well when one of you needs to lose and the other needs to gain (in a healthy way, not just eating fried foods). It's even harder to figure out how to do it without upsetting the delicate balance of either of our bodies--too much of an allergen or citrus and his body is out for a few days...too much "healthy" stuff and (aside from the COST of it all) he never feels "full." And with me, I can handle a stomach ache just fine, but stomach problems lead to back problems which lead to all-over problems. Not to mention my emotional journey and spiritual clarity seem to heavily revolve around the foods I eat lately and the hormone imbalances that an imbalanced diet creates. I'm not trying to complain, and I hope I don't offend Paul with this post like I have with others in the past. (I apparently need to censor my posts from now on to make sure this is all about ME and not HIM.) I'm just sayin'. I wish *I* had more self-control, because those M&Ms didn't last more than a couple of hours. And I had done so well! At least it all averages out to less calories than before, still! :) I don't want to be a crazy person and cut out food I love, not even chocolate, but I gotta find a system that works for me, knowing how easily I give in to my cravings. And I gotta find out how to get self-discipline when you don't have any.
I have been struck lately with the ridiculousness of my delusions of independence. Really. I was washing the dishes a couple of days ago and thinking about how much Paul and I are trying to live providently and wanting to improve some bad habits from yesteryear and how nice it would be if we were truly debt free, and that is all GOOD. Even commanded by our Church leaders and recommended by worldly ones. I'm not in any way knocking the desire to live within our means or to be able to provide for our families in the Lord's way. I also have a really hard time asking for help, sometimes because of pride and sometimes because I have no idea what I want in the first place, but I have this fantasy of never needing anyone else for my own happiness ever again--to create in myself happiness independently of anyone else. But "independent" is totally a wrong word for all of it. I can't imagine that anyone in this whole entire world is truly independent, and anyone who REALLY tries for it is either very alone or very exhausted. Just think about it. What if, as my friend Jamie once asserted, we had all lived on our own little planets and had to do it ALL for ourselves--food, clothing, shelter, energy, happiness, pleasure, growth, learning, beauty, and every other good thing this life has to offer...can you imagine? Even if you're not religious and you can take God out of the equation (which I can't), you still need people. That's why we have families and friends and division of labor. I'm so glad we're not all on our own. We truly are all beggars. Isn't that comforting?
Wax museums are creepy. But I still wanna go to a good one. :)
These are the kinds of things on my mind today.
