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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Energy



I wish I had this kind of energy. Especially on this three-day weekend where I have cleaning and homework and personal study and getting warm to do!


Energy is such a strange thing and I think that hardly anyone really understands it fully. I'm particularly interested in human energy and the way that we transfer it among ourselves. Sister Watson is the one who got me onto this, with the whole hug thing. Did you know you should never pat another person on the back when you're giving hugs, because it disrupts the energy flow between the two of you? Long or quick, hard hugs are best. People are actually STRONGER for them.


I'm also pretty sure that there is something at least aesthetically pleasing about feng shui, and that there's more to it than we realize...considering it is all about balance and energy flow, it makes sense, but we definitely take it for granted.


On a completely different note, I'm frustrated beyond all reason because I have this problem for one of my classes that will not get answered unless I answer it...so if you have any leads for me, please let me know! I was given this map and I am supposed to figure out what it represents. Why is Iowa the biggest?! That's all the guidance I was given, aside from the fact that only 7 or 8 people in Dr. Krockover's 40 years of teaching have ever figured it out, and that he never actually tells you the answer. I spent three hours of energy yesterday googling everything I could about Iowa, that would leave Illinois up in the top 7 (with Nebraska, Kansas, California, and Texas) and keep Indiana way back down in the non-existent.


Friday, January 16, 2009

Wishful Thinking


Since the high right now, mid-day, before windchill, is -7 degrees, right now I wish I had fire.

But if it weren't so cold, I probably wouldn't wish for fire at all. I always hated the question about what you would do if a genie granted you 3 wishes, because, first of all, no genie exists that will ever come and be able to grant me those wishes, anyway, so why get my hopes up? Secondly, there's always that story that comes to mind of that guy who had a fish-genie grant his wishes and they all got jumbled up and turned out completely differently than he meant, which is something that would probably happen to me. Thirdly, I have no idea what I really want or need, and if I were to ask for the "wrong" thing I'd only be kicking myself that much more later down the road, because that's the kind of girl I am. Lastly, what we wish for depends on context. For example, in colder-than-ice-cold temperatures, I want a fire. But when my house is on fire...I want something to put it out. What we want depends on the moment more than anything else...but having those three wishes granted is so much more permanent.

With all of that being said, however, I am now going to attempt to make 3 wishes. Whether or not a genie stumbles across this post is completely out of my hands, and they may some or all change tomorrow, but in this moment, being entirely selfish, here are my 3 wishes.

(1) I wish for a healthy body & mind.
(2) I wish for everyone's cars to work properly and keep us safe & warm as they get us from place to place.
(3) I wish Paul had a phone that worked & had minutes so I could talk to him whenever I wanted, wherever we are.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Somewhere...Over the Rainbow

I'm a bit of a daydreamer. It's a problem. Especially on cold, wintry, wind-chill-warning days like today, I can't help but let my mind wander to warmer topics. Sitting at home, of course, no one really cares...but while I'm in class, it's bad. :)
Speaking of dreams, today I was reminded of this awesome dream I had once where I discovered that rocks, hard as they might seem, were edible AND nutritious, and I solved world hunger. It was strange because in my dream I remember feeling my teeth hurting as I chewed on a piece of slate...it had the texture of really badly burnt pie crust, but tasted like I imagine a rock would taste. But starving people need minerals, not tasty delicacies, and rocks were THE THING to have...and everyone has rocks somewhere. I was a world-wide hero. It was amazing.
I had a migraine today, which would have been unbearable if it weren't for Paul, who drove me home, tucked me in bed, and made me dinner while letting me sleep for an hour as some excedrin took hold of my system. He's my dream guy. :)
Now I must go to sleep and have dreams...hopefully good ones, because I've been having lots of restless nights lately and lots of nightmares. Maybe since I spent the last hour drawing kanji on my art journal, I'll be focused and peaceful enough to sleep well. A bientot, mes amis!

Writing Club--Another Muse

The week's prompts were varied by individual...basically, we each wrote down a story idea and then drew them from a hat, allotting 30 minutes to write. Here's my prompt and story:

“You wake up in an unfamiliar environment and everyone’s telling you you’re someone else, with a completely different life.” ~Charissa


I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that seventh burrito before I went to sleep last night, but my cravings left me with little choice. I must be having another nightmare. Why else would these strange people be looking at me so quizzically and calling me Isaac?

“Isaac, for heaven’s sakes, are you feeling all right?” some strange rotund woman with a mole on her left cheek asks me with a glint of worry in her eyes. I wince at the throbbing in my head only a moment, looking around the room that smells like burnt popcorn. This woman and two twin boys that look vaguely familiar are staring down at me as though I were an alien abducted for their own purposes, to be dissected and studied. One of the twins, the shirtless one, nudges the other playfully.

“Isaac’s toasted!” he says, half-mocking, half-reverently.

Toasted? I don’t think so. But Isaac? Who’s that?

“Joey, go put your shirt on and get your books for school, you’re going to be late,” the woman—I can only assume it is their mother—says with a look that speaks volumes. She points to the mute one standing behind him. “You too, mister.”

“But ma!” Joey exclaims (aha! It IS his mother!). “It ain’t fair, how come Isaac’s the one who’s plastered and I’M the one always getting yelled at?” Joey throws his lanky arms up in the air in exasperation, while his twin just rolls his eyes.

The mother fairly spits out her words in a hiss, “We’ll talk about this later, boys. GO!”

Amazingly, the two twin boys shrug their shoulders, kiss her on the cheek, and rumble down the stairs. Stairs? We don’t have stairs here…

I clear my throat awkwardly, which this strange woman mistakes for a reproving cough and the next thing I know she’s slapping me across the face. “Isaac William Bronston, how DARE you bring your fiery potions and hangovers into this house! MY house! And with the boys here to see it! Oh, if your father weren’t going to tan your hide three times over, I’d do it myself!”

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tan MY hide? Was this crazy psychopath who smells like ham and wood talking to ME?

“I’m…sorry?” I offer stupidly, still rubbing the cobwebs of sleep from my mind.

“Sorry! Sorry? You don’t know what sorry IS yet, mister! But you will!”

Before she can raise her hand to strike me, I instinctively roll both arms in front of my face. “Who the heck is Isaac?” I manage to ask. By the way her face turns from tomato-red to deathly pale, I’m sure it’s the wrong question. But, slowly, she manages to breathe again and she lowers her hand, so maybe it was the right question after all.

“Isaac?” she asks me, drilling her eyes into mine like she was looking for a priceless gift she’d accidentally tossed away.

“Isaac…who?” I venture again.

“You, son.” Her voice is a raspy whisper, and even though I don’t know her from Eve, I can tell she’s going to start crying soon.

“I-I-I’m not Isaac!” I stammer, more panic lacing my voice than I intended. I struggle to sit up, the hardness of my muscles and the sudden wave of nausea that hits me throwing me for a loop. My voice, I notice, is remarkably deeper than when I went to sleep, but even so it rises with every syllable. “I—I’m Sophia! Sophia GRACE!”

Her eyes narrow at me, the love and worry gone, wrath slinking into its place. “Isaac, what are you ON? Who is this Sophia, is she…is she the reason…”

I blush at the very implication. “I’m NOT ISAAC, and I’m NOT ON anything!” Fully upright now, my eyes scour the room for any OUNCE of normalcy, a familiar book on a shelf, my little sister’s medications lining her desk, my poster of Johnny Depp, ANYTHING, but the place may as well be the moon for all the familiarity I’m finding here.

“I told you, lady, I’m NOT Isaac, I’m Sophia Grace, and if we’re going to keep having this strange conversation I really have to have a cup of coffee.” My calmness and my demanding of beverages at such a time surprises even me, even if this is a dream.

“Okay,” she agrees all-too-easily. “But, mark my words, mister, five minutes of coffee haven, and then we’re talking.”

I roll my eyes, thinking how like the mute twin I must look to her, and smile ruefully. “Whatever you say, ma’am. Now, coffee?”

Minutes pass by in silent agony as the java settles in and the panic I felt earlier starts to rise again. I’m a fifteen-year-old girl, why was I sleeping in a huge bed that belonged to someone named Isaac? Even worse, why did everyone insist on thinking I WAS Isaac? This just isn’t making any sense. I went to sleep like any other night (well, almost…I DID overeat…again…). I woke up only twice, which was no small feat for me. Once when Josie was into another coughing fit, and once when I knocked my shadowbox over onto my head…

My HEAD!

I hit my head, and I woke up a…man? How did that happen? And if I am Isaac, who is me?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Storm's comin' in...

Sometimes I love being in the city, but most of the time, I don't.
My brain is like that right now.
A new semester, and I can just TELL that there are interesting experiences on the horizon, but there's a storm blowin' in and it threatens my vision.
I can't see to my right or left, it's like tunnel vision, I'm stuck looking ahead waiting for disaster to strike.
People everywhere, a mad rush of ideas carefully slated, it gives me a rush and it makes me chlostrophobic.
But I can't help it, I'm drawn back to it time and again because it never ceases to amaze me the marvels man can make.
I want a nap.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Flowers


I love flowers. I don't consider myself much of a girlie-girl, but every once in a while I find things that make me feel every inch and ounce of my femininity, and flowers are one of those things. I love gerbera daisies, calla lilies, stargazer lilies, orchids, and gladiolus the most, and that's why they're all part of my bouquets, but there are lots of other flowers I find extremely intoxicating. I'm not much of a gardener, but someday I'd like to learn everything I can about planting beautiful flowers in my own secret spot and tending them with the rain and the sun.

That being said, I don't like buying dead flowers. I just don't. I think it's a waste of money to buy once-alive stems just to keep them around the house for a few days of beauty. I want potted plants around the house where necessary, but I also love silk flowers (if they're good quality). Afloral.com is by far the best website I've been able to find for the price and quality of real-like flowers, and I can't buy them anywhere else.

With real, live flowers, though, there's something else extra special about having them around. Fake flowers are beautiful, but real flowers are cheerful. Fake flowers make the decor, but real flowers make that decor...vibrate? I don't know how to explain it. There's something to that feng shui or chi or Native American earth-spirits or whatever, because there's an added measure of life in a place with living flowers.

I think heaven has to have lots of flowers.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Water

I have this thing about black & white photography, I adore it beyond comprehension and pretty much anything in black & white is beautiful to me. Some time ago, I downloaded a few photos that fit the bill and today I decided that instead of locking them away in my own computer I'd share them with all of you, one day or so at a time, and use them as my own muse for whatever I want to write about that day. Today's photo inspires thoughts on water.

My little brother gets baptized today! He turned 8 years old yesterday (my how the time flies!) and I get to play the piano for his baptism today. I barely remember anything about my own baptism, which is a shame since it was such a magnificent event in my life. All I really DO remember is that my dad, ready to dunk me, said, "Are you ready?" and my nervous little 8-year-old self-who-couldn't-swim was like, "No!" And he smiled and dunked me anyway, and I choked on some water and was sent into a coughing fit. At least, that's how my memory tells it. Maybe it's skewed after all these years...
I really love water. I'm not a big swimmer even today, although I love a leisurely swim as much as the next girl and I can effectively not drown. I love what water does to a human body, the way everything feels lighter, the joints ache less, the way warm water especially soothes away time's damages and one can merely "be". I love the timelessness of the ocean and the memories of summer pools and spring riverbanks and I love a good, hot shower in the morning. I'm a fan of drinking water, too, and now that I have a Pur water filter for my faucet I'm not afraid to drink the water my apartment offers! I love watercolors and Jell-O jigglers and soup and tears of joy and fountains and almost everything else that requires water to exist. Water is a mood-maker and it is beautiful.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Quick Rant

I get really frustrated with people who get upset with me for not telling them things when they, likewise, don't tell me things. And I'm not a big secret-keeper, anyway. My facebook or my blog pretty much spells it all out there, if anyone cares to look. My family, in particular, is really bad about communication. The little things are bad enough, and hurt just as much, but even the biggest things don't get spread around until the most inopportune times, and everyone still feels like getting mad at everyone else when no one tells them anything. Sometimes I just want to scream!

Okay, I'm over it. I gotta shower and stuff, I have a sister in town that I get to take shopping and buy her a new outfit that makes her look "girlie". I have such a soft spot for this sister when it comes to spending money on her, I can't help it. I'll be poor this semester, for sure. :)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Chicago, take 2!

Paul & I went up to Chicago yesterday, mostly for the purpose of picking up some things he left there over break, but also to get away during this last week of holiday vacation and see some other sights in his hometown. This time we went to Chinatown, Rainforest Cafe, an outdoor mall where we picked up some Frango holiday chocolates for 70% off, and back to his family's place to visit and pick up everything, have our FHE, etc. ...oh yeah, and pick up some Dunkin' Donuts on the way back. :) It was a fun day-trip and I'm glad I got to come along for the ride! Here are some pics of the happy Monday...it only would have been happier had I remembered to take along my ear antiseptic (I got my ears pierced over the weekend) so that I wouldn't have to panic about infection!

My big strong Atlas-Man. :) And below are the stars up above us...

Mmm...Frango! Apparently it's a Chicago thing.

Friday, January 2, 2009

2008 in Summary

I came up with a rather dandy newsletter for the year, but if I didn't send it to you it's because I don't have your email address saved in my contacts. If you're curious, send me a message at omadarland@hotmail.com with your email addy and I'll zip that right over to you. :)

Pics and tales of the holidays to come...right now I'm getting ready to head off with Paul to the bookstore! (Can life get any better than having a man who loves books as much or more than you do? I submit that it cannot!)

Happy New Year!