I have a lot of heroes in the scriptures, for sure, but lately as I've been studying in Alma (in the Book of Mormon) I have really fallen in love with the story of Amulek. Now THERE is a man who had trials! There he was, minding his own business--doing well, financially, and having lots of family and friends, being respected by his people...not sinning greatly but not really turning his heart to God, either. He felt promptings occasionally, but ignored them--which I relate to far better than those that openly rebelled against the Church--until, one day, an angel came and told him to receive the prophet Alma into his house. His obedience to this set a whole COURSE of events in motion. He went from being comfortable to leaving his home for a time and preaching the gospel. That alone must have been kinda scary, especially dealing with the feelings of unworthiness or fear of rejection. But THEN, he saw the heart-heartedness of his people, who for the most part turned on him--tried to trap him and bore false witness that he had spoken against their laws, burned all those that believed on his and Alma's testimony, imprisoned him and denied him food, water, and clothing...and even when the Lord delivered them, his people were destroyed, the few righteous that escaped now refugees. It was deserved, but that doesn't mean it was easy for him. Amulek forsook his gold and silver and precious things and, on faith, followed Alma to Zarahemla. I love the part in Alma 18:15 where it says, "Now as I said, Alma having seen all these things, therefore he took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord." I think he must have needed A LOT of strengthening and comfort after all of that.
I just think that is a LOT for a relatively new convert to experience. I was thinking about what it would be like to have joined with Alma, hoping to share the message of redemption--which you had just experienced--with all the people you love most in the whole world, and to have them turn on you like that. To see the few that believed your words consumed by fire and wanting to exercise the power of God against the wicked and spare the righteous, but having the prophet next to you say that he felt constrained not to do it. To then be imprisoned--naked, hungry, spit upon--for two weeks and to wonder if maybe you'd been better off to never have followed the angel's advice in the first place. Even with all that I know and all I believe, I have NO IDEA how I'd react in a similar situation. But good ol' Amulek was faithful--sure, he needed strengthening afterwards, but he never once doubted his path, no matter what trials came upon him.
I guess I had just never really given him much thought in my many readings of the Book of Mormon, other than as a missionary companion to Alma, but this time around I was really impressed by his faith and example, all by himself. We always think of people like Job, Joseph Smith, or Christ as the ultimate examples of faith through adversity, but I think Amulek is right up there with them for me. The truth is that it is often when we are on the RIGHT path that our hardest trials come...sometimes as a result of our own choices or living in an imperfect world, sometimes because of the devil's temptations to try and keep us from joining forces with great works and movements of the righteous, and sometimes as tests or chastening or humbling experiences from the Lord. But no matter what we go through, we can always turn to the Lord and his disciples for strength to carry on in the right path. I just love that. :) I love knowing that my trials aren't all punishments and that, in my suffering, I'm in good company. For some reason I wanted to share it here.
Who are YOUR scripture heroes lately?
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Feeling Inspired :)
I've had a lot of small-but-sweet experiences this week in feeling inspired or receiving revelation. I often feel contentment or peace or comfort or a vague sense of direction, but actual revelation--that I can't doubt or trivialize later--that's kinda rare for me. I know it really shouldn't be, but I guess it's something I'm either still learning or it's just not necessary/in the Lord's timing for me most of the time right now. Anyway, this week has been different. Nothing exceptional has HAPPENED in other aspects of my life, but it seems like every time I pray, or fast, or study, with all my heart, I get these clear and concise answers. No extra work, no soul-searching or wrestling with the Spirit or waiting on the Lord's timing as usual (which, I suppose, means that my timing is for once and rarely aligned with His :). It's wonderful! I wonder if this is how the apostles feel ALL THE TIME. :) Anyway, most of these are really too personal or too complicated to express well in a single blog post, but here's the Reader's Digest version:
*I love the Bishop. On Sunday I was fasting about something, not even realizing that the HEART of this problem was something else entirely, and on Sunday our bishop bore testimony about things that had nothing to do with what I was thinking about or wanting but EVERYTHING to do with what I was needing. It's rare for me to cry, especially in public, but I was reduced to tears by the feeling that Heavenly Father loved ME and wanted to tell ME these IMPORTANT, eternal, comforting, inspiring truths...and he did it through inspiring the bishop. I'm grateful he was paying attention.
*I was still concerned about this other, smaller thing, of course. And a few other, smaller things, too. So I've been praying a little more sincerely and specifically before my gospel study--no matter how it looks that day--that I would be led by the Spirit, because I really believe if we could master the art of having the Spirit with us always we would need little else. As I read in Alma 5, once again completely unrelated to the readings at hand, I had a very clear...not really vision, but just a clear idea and picture in my mind of what I should do about an issue I've been pouring over for MONTHS. And it was SO SIMPLE, and so perfect. I wrote it down immediately, and kept reading, and AGAIN, another issue I hadn't even been thinking about consciously but HAD been mulling over in the back of my mind was answered--just like that. I'm not used to this immediacy or certainty in revelation, but I sure could get used to it! :)
*I really LOVE the Ensign this month. Every once in a while it seems like all (or almost all) of the articles are just FOR ME. This is one of those months. There have been a few more answers to questions I've already wrestled with for months or years, and there have been promises of answers to come. There have been moments of empathy and realization that my problems are not mine alone--not only does Heavenly Father know of them and bear them with us if we invite Him to, but chances are really good that in some small way MANY OTHER PEOPLE also understand. The specifics are different from person to person, of course, but the general problems people face are the same, not only across the world but across time. With articles titled "Building a Loving Home After Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family," "Finding Peace Through Forgiveness," "Learning to Cope With Infertility," and a few articles about "Counseling Together in Marriage" or in callings, it seems like all these issues that have been sort of popping up a lot lately for me have all been addressed in a single issue.
What are the odds?
I'm so very, very far from perfect. In fact, I'm very, very far from the person I want to be. I do try my best most days, but I still fall SO SHORT of where I feel I ought to be--I definitely live beneath my privileges. But *I* have power to change what I can, and to know HOW to change. And I also have power to accept that the Lord sometimes has to be in charge of moments of my life instead of me, because sometimes there really is nothing I can do. Learning to have both kinds of faith and when isn't easy, and I'm definitely still a work in progress. But I'm grateful that, every once in a while, He brings that home to me with all He's got, because He knows how slow I can be sometimes to understand or believe and sometimes I just need those "2-by-4" answers (you know the kind, where you feel like you're getting hit on the head with a 2-by-4, it's just that clear). I hope I can continue this process of revelation by faithfully acting on the promptings I've been receiving...starting with blogging about it.
That is why I believe. :)
*I love the Bishop. On Sunday I was fasting about something, not even realizing that the HEART of this problem was something else entirely, and on Sunday our bishop bore testimony about things that had nothing to do with what I was thinking about or wanting but EVERYTHING to do with what I was needing. It's rare for me to cry, especially in public, but I was reduced to tears by the feeling that Heavenly Father loved ME and wanted to tell ME these IMPORTANT, eternal, comforting, inspiring truths...and he did it through inspiring the bishop. I'm grateful he was paying attention.
*I was still concerned about this other, smaller thing, of course. And a few other, smaller things, too. So I've been praying a little more sincerely and specifically before my gospel study--no matter how it looks that day--that I would be led by the Spirit, because I really believe if we could master the art of having the Spirit with us always we would need little else. As I read in Alma 5, once again completely unrelated to the readings at hand, I had a very clear...not really vision, but just a clear idea and picture in my mind of what I should do about an issue I've been pouring over for MONTHS. And it was SO SIMPLE, and so perfect. I wrote it down immediately, and kept reading, and AGAIN, another issue I hadn't even been thinking about consciously but HAD been mulling over in the back of my mind was answered--just like that. I'm not used to this immediacy or certainty in revelation, but I sure could get used to it! :)
*I really LOVE the Ensign this month. Every once in a while it seems like all (or almost all) of the articles are just FOR ME. This is one of those months. There have been a few more answers to questions I've already wrestled with for months or years, and there have been promises of answers to come. There have been moments of empathy and realization that my problems are not mine alone--not only does Heavenly Father know of them and bear them with us if we invite Him to, but chances are really good that in some small way MANY OTHER PEOPLE also understand. The specifics are different from person to person, of course, but the general problems people face are the same, not only across the world but across time. With articles titled "Building a Loving Home After Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family," "Finding Peace Through Forgiveness," "Learning to Cope With Infertility," and a few articles about "Counseling Together in Marriage" or in callings, it seems like all these issues that have been sort of popping up a lot lately for me have all been addressed in a single issue.
What are the odds?
I'm so very, very far from perfect. In fact, I'm very, very far from the person I want to be. I do try my best most days, but I still fall SO SHORT of where I feel I ought to be--I definitely live beneath my privileges. But *I* have power to change what I can, and to know HOW to change. And I also have power to accept that the Lord sometimes has to be in charge of moments of my life instead of me, because sometimes there really is nothing I can do. Learning to have both kinds of faith and when isn't easy, and I'm definitely still a work in progress. But I'm grateful that, every once in a while, He brings that home to me with all He's got, because He knows how slow I can be sometimes to understand or believe and sometimes I just need those "2-by-4" answers (you know the kind, where you feel like you're getting hit on the head with a 2-by-4, it's just that clear). I hope I can continue this process of revelation by faithfully acting on the promptings I've been receiving...starting with blogging about it.
That is why I believe. :)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Daily To Dos
So, my cleaning dry-erase board is really working for me. I LOVE seeing all the Xs at the end of the week and feeling accomplished, and my house has never been CONSISTENTLY cleaner than it has been in the last couple of weeks. Turns out, at least for now, that is more satisfying than any incentive I could have come up with otherwise. Every once in a while Paul walks by the hall and sees all the Xs and gives me a kiss of pride and encouragement, which also helps a lot. :)
But I figured out that on top of my weekly schedule, there are things I'm constantly writing on my to-do list and erasing, writing and erasing, day after day, so why not make myself a daily to-do list (for a week at a time) in the same dry-erase fashion? So I whipped up a little something to fit in a cheap 8"x10" frame:
Each day (working or not) I want to:
say my prayers
read my scriptures/gospel study
exercise
make my bed!
work in my garden, even if it's just watering it
take a picture for project 366
walk the dogs or at least play with them
write something--whether creative, letters, blog or journal
Once again, I've made it a freebie if you want it, with the clip art easily removeable so you can get rid of whatever clip art that doesn't apply to you and add your own instead. :) You can download the word document HERE.
I have a few other projects I've been working on, but nothing I can post just yet. Some are gifts that haven't been given yet, and some are just in works progress at the moment. Soon! I promise!
But I figured out that on top of my weekly schedule, there are things I'm constantly writing on my to-do list and erasing, writing and erasing, day after day, so why not make myself a daily to-do list (for a week at a time) in the same dry-erase fashion? So I whipped up a little something to fit in a cheap 8"x10" frame:
say my prayers
read my scriptures/gospel study
exercise
make my bed!
work in my garden, even if it's just watering it
take a picture for project 366
walk the dogs or at least play with them
write something--whether creative, letters, blog or journal
Once again, I've made it a freebie if you want it, with the clip art easily removeable so you can get rid of whatever clip art that doesn't apply to you and add your own instead. :) You can download the word document HERE.
I have a few other projects I've been working on, but nothing I can post just yet. Some are gifts that haven't been given yet, and some are just in works progress at the moment. Soon! I promise!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Project 366--May 21-27
Click HERE to get your very own BLANK .png version of this page for personal use!
May 21--Caida's VNS surgery
May 22--Voodoo on the couch after a day of missing mommy--it was the last week of school, but I still subbed 3 days!
May 23--Bandanas for field day!
May 24--Kids sitting and watching each other's plays.
May 25--My cleaning chart for each day of the week.
May 26--Finished crocheting Laura's baby shoes!
May 27--Blown tire on our Sunday morning. (It's almost abstract, really, this close up. :)
Project 366--May 14-20
Click HERE to get your free blank .png version of this page for personal use!
I decided I probably won't do weekly themes anymore. It's more ecclectic and interesting to NOT do it, and I'm also more motivated to take pictures each day instead of all at once. :)
May 14--Just a pic of Obi...I've taken a LOT of her these days. :)
May 15--OUR ANNIVERSARY! Here is Paul at the theater in a red chair after we saw "Avengers."
May 16--A shot of the headband I made for myself (and others) on Mother's Day the Sunday before...
May 17--Just something I saw in a classroom--she'd made her own magnetic alphabet board with an oil pan and such for a literacy center, and I love it!
May 18--A banana cream pie I made for Paul for dessert.
May 19--We've been drinking flavored waters for a while (and I have LOTS MORE I want to try)--this is our citrus one.
May 20--Another pic of Obi...this time she's hiding under the table. :)
Project 366--May 7-13
(Click HERE to download your very own blank .png version of this page for personal use!)
This Week's Theme: My Favorite Playthings :)
(The caption reads: "Some toys are meant for play, and others are meant for display, but if it has a vintage feel, I want it! I love heirloom-y playthings...)
May 7--little wool sheep
May 8--a "beary" cute miniature tea set
May 9--a sweet wooden rocking horse
May 10--peg games, like you see at Cracker Barrel
May 11--unfinished wood blocks...yeah, we rock it old school :)
May 12--a giant knit checkers set--I had one just like it when I was little
May 13--of course, our teddy bear collections--each of us has teddy bears from when we were younger--mine only since I was 10 or so, but Paul's since he was 1!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Rock bugs for the garden :)
I was going to paint wings and eyes, but I kinda liked the way they are without them. If I had known ahead of time, I would have made it more mod & representational--yellow/black stripes, red with black polka dots, and green with black chevrons and just a big dot in the middle. :) Oh well. I still love the way they turned out!
 |
| Somehow when I put them back I had an extra rock. :) Can you find the extra bee in our "yard?" |
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
More things on my mind today
I am SO GRATEFUL that Caida is doing well! Her surgery went well, and other than a complication with something in the prep work that left her with a bad rash for a few days, things couldn't have gone better. Even better, on Friday they turned on her VNS and that night she had a horrible seizure--and Cerene swiped the magnet over the VNS and it sent those impulses to her nerve and it WORKED. Seizure stopped. That's the first good thing that has happened to that child in a LONG TIME, at least health-wise. I AM SO GRATEFUL. It is worth every other bad thing that has happened these last couple of weeks to know that our prayers and fasting were heard and answered so quickly and so favorably.
BOTH our Elders are getting transferred tomorrow. Now that Paul is the ward mission leader, I've gotten to know them better (not ONLY did I actually learn their names, which I almost never do, but I know all kinds of things about their personalities and life-before-missions), and I'm actually going to miss them!
I really wanted two cars this fall, but I guess one new-ish one isn't a bad consolation. Can't wait 'til next month's paycheck so we can make that down payment and go car shopping! This will be the third car we've owned together, although two were from family/friends for $1 and one was from craigslist for $1000, up front. So this will be the first major, actual lot-bought car for us, with payments and all that. Woohoo!
I REALLY want a teaching job. I got 7 rejection emails in a row last week, and that was NO FUN. I understand it, especially with all the layoffs a few years ago (they have to hire those people back first)...and that means there are still 6 jobs in TSC that I might get to interview for, not to mention all the other districts around town that I don't even care about as much. :) But still. It doesn't do much for my self-confidence lately.
I'm trying to eat better, since it seems like it's the ONLY THING I can control lately for my health and weight management. It's hard! I still allow myself dessert on the weekends, which helps, because I tried not having chocolate and after six days I BINGED like crazy and it was not good. So, moderation. And more (quantity and variety) of fruits and veggies. I even made up a table of fruits and veggies, organized by color, and laminated it so I could get more variety in my diet. I like fruits and veggies a lot, actually. I just also like meat and chocolate. And bread. And all of that together, with lots of cheese on top. :) So it's a learning process. Thank goodness for Google and Pinterest!
I have had some bad back/hip pain for the last week and a half, and I AM SO DONE WITH IT! I suffered for a week before I took any pain killers, and then this weekend I had lots to do so I took Excedrin (the only thing that works for me) twice a day. It did WONDERS for the pain, and I briefly thought to myself, 'Why didn't I do this sooner?' Then I felt better enough to not take it for the whole day yesterday and I remembered why. I HATE COMING OFF painkillers! Especially Excedrin, which has so much caffeine. :( I had a headache all day long, and I have a little caffeine hangover today, too. Not to mention the small pains I feel now hurt so much more that they would if I'd allowed myself to just feel the pain in the first place. You do what you have to do sometimes, but MAN ALIVE I cannot WAIT to have a perfected body someday!!!
I finally learned how to pick out a good watermelon and we had some yesterday. It was DELICIOUS! And I'm not even a melon fan.
I can't wait for our craft nights to begin. SO EXCITED for this vision I've had for a craft club to finally be coming to fruition!
I hate doing dishes almost as much as I hate doing laundry. How do you make those things more fun?
I'm getting a BIKE next week! Woohoo!!!
I know you all have those moments like I do when you realize how quickly life is passing by. One of our first primary girls, who had just turned 9 when we married into the ward and started teaching primary, turns 12 TODAY. She's about to embark on the adventure that adolescence and young women's always is. I can't help but feel a little old, and a little misty-eyed, when I think about how fast they grow up. And, of course, it has me thinking back to when *I* was 12, and counting down the days 'til young womens myself, and all the travels and spiritual journeys I went through as a youth. It was a difficult, glorious, broken, defining time, and it went TOO FAST!
Where did all the spiders come from allasudden? And what caterpillar or bug colony had the NERVE to eat through all my lettuce yesterday? I'm about to give up on this little patio garden this year. Replanting three times is enough!
I should really get off blogger and go DO SOMETHING on my to-do list. :)
BOTH our Elders are getting transferred tomorrow. Now that Paul is the ward mission leader, I've gotten to know them better (not ONLY did I actually learn their names, which I almost never do, but I know all kinds of things about their personalities and life-before-missions), and I'm actually going to miss them!
I really wanted two cars this fall, but I guess one new-ish one isn't a bad consolation. Can't wait 'til next month's paycheck so we can make that down payment and go car shopping! This will be the third car we've owned together, although two were from family/friends for $1 and one was from craigslist for $1000, up front. So this will be the first major, actual lot-bought car for us, with payments and all that. Woohoo!
I REALLY want a teaching job. I got 7 rejection emails in a row last week, and that was NO FUN. I understand it, especially with all the layoffs a few years ago (they have to hire those people back first)...and that means there are still 6 jobs in TSC that I might get to interview for, not to mention all the other districts around town that I don't even care about as much. :) But still. It doesn't do much for my self-confidence lately.
I'm trying to eat better, since it seems like it's the ONLY THING I can control lately for my health and weight management. It's hard! I still allow myself dessert on the weekends, which helps, because I tried not having chocolate and after six days I BINGED like crazy and it was not good. So, moderation. And more (quantity and variety) of fruits and veggies. I even made up a table of fruits and veggies, organized by color, and laminated it so I could get more variety in my diet. I like fruits and veggies a lot, actually. I just also like meat and chocolate. And bread. And all of that together, with lots of cheese on top. :) So it's a learning process. Thank goodness for Google and Pinterest!
I have had some bad back/hip pain for the last week and a half, and I AM SO DONE WITH IT! I suffered for a week before I took any pain killers, and then this weekend I had lots to do so I took Excedrin (the only thing that works for me) twice a day. It did WONDERS for the pain, and I briefly thought to myself, 'Why didn't I do this sooner?' Then I felt better enough to not take it for the whole day yesterday and I remembered why. I HATE COMING OFF painkillers! Especially Excedrin, which has so much caffeine. :( I had a headache all day long, and I have a little caffeine hangover today, too. Not to mention the small pains I feel now hurt so much more that they would if I'd allowed myself to just feel the pain in the first place. You do what you have to do sometimes, but MAN ALIVE I cannot WAIT to have a perfected body someday!!!
I finally learned how to pick out a good watermelon and we had some yesterday. It was DELICIOUS! And I'm not even a melon fan.
I can't wait for our craft nights to begin. SO EXCITED for this vision I've had for a craft club to finally be coming to fruition!
I hate doing dishes almost as much as I hate doing laundry. How do you make those things more fun?
I'm getting a BIKE next week! Woohoo!!!
I know you all have those moments like I do when you realize how quickly life is passing by. One of our first primary girls, who had just turned 9 when we married into the ward and started teaching primary, turns 12 TODAY. She's about to embark on the adventure that adolescence and young women's always is. I can't help but feel a little old, and a little misty-eyed, when I think about how fast they grow up. And, of course, it has me thinking back to when *I* was 12, and counting down the days 'til young womens myself, and all the travels and spiritual journeys I went through as a youth. It was a difficult, glorious, broken, defining time, and it went TOO FAST!
Where did all the spiders come from allasudden? And what caterpillar or bug colony had the NERVE to eat through all my lettuce yesterday? I'm about to give up on this little patio garden this year. Replanting three times is enough!
I should really get off blogger and go DO SOMETHING on my to-do list. :)
Blown tire
We have had so many problems with our car lately, we are seriously considering buying a new (used) car very soon. These tires cost a whopping $150 EACH to replace. :( And this will be the second one this spring to replace...
Anywho, you can imagine our surprise Sunday morning as we piled our gear in the car and started to drive...but as soon as we were in motion we heard the strangest, LOUDEST flapping sound. So we back up right back into our parking space and take a look.
Needless to say, we had to get a ride to church and had a friend come help us replace the tire afterwards (neither of us are feeling well enough to do it today alone).
We drove it last night without noticing any problems...I guess our parking lot is treacherous! :) It did THIS in 9 hours. :)
So we're hoping to make a down payment on a used car next month. Which will be good--driving the missionaries around in that soft-top, 2-door car was getting old. :) We'll probably be giving this one to my sister, who needs a car desperately enough she'll take one even if it has a few problems.
Hope we can find a Honda. :)
Anywho, you can imagine our surprise Sunday morning as we piled our gear in the car and started to drive...but as soon as we were in motion we heard the strangest, LOUDEST flapping sound. So we back up right back into our parking space and take a look.
Needless to say, we had to get a ride to church and had a friend come help us replace the tire afterwards (neither of us are feeling well enough to do it today alone).
We drove it last night without noticing any problems...I guess our parking lot is treacherous! :) It did THIS in 9 hours. :)
So we're hoping to make a down payment on a used car next month. Which will be good--driving the missionaries around in that soft-top, 2-door car was getting old. :) We'll probably be giving this one to my sister, who needs a car desperately enough she'll take one even if it has a few problems.
Hope we can find a Honda. :)
Saturday, May 26, 2012
I'm not good at keeping secrets!
Well, at least my own. I can keep confidences just fine, but when I'm working on a project I'm excited about, I have a REALLY hard time not posting pictures and blabbing all about it. Same with birthdays...it's hard not to tell all ahead of time. But since what I'm working on isn't done yet AND they are a "surprise" for a few friends that are pregnant (one just had her first baby TODAY!), I will have to keep you in suspense a little longer.
I hope I don't explode.
I'd be a mess to clean up!
Okay, I can't take it...here's a hint:
I hope I don't explode.
I'd be a mess to clean up!
Okay, I can't take it...here's a hint:
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