It sort of started with the General Relief Society Meeting of General Conference...our stake did a beautiful, uplifting musical fireside beforehand and all the talks during Conference were wonderful. But then there was that instant classic of a talk by President Uchtdorf, which you can watch HERE. I know every woman who has watched it feels like he was talking directly to them, but I'm pretty sure he was ACTUALLY talking to me. Those five things are the five things I most needed to hear. They are the things I struggle with the most, in one way or another. And I love God for inspiring President Uchtdorf to say those tender things that all women need to be reminded of in a way that we all understand and respond to.
It didn't end there, though. I had been praying and studying at this time about two main topics: "Consider the lilies," that famous scripture and all the ideas that it portrays (something I really struggle with is just "letting go and letting God" take over...and it seemed especially important to learn to trust Him these last few months), and how to be a better teacher. Do you know what song was sung in our Stake Conference just a few weeks later, after I had studied these things? "Consider the Lilies." And the entire adult session was all about becoming a better teacher. How aware is the Lord of me? :)
In our family life, we have been struggling for months with several things and trying to find a way out and had really just sort of given up and accepted the fact that this was our lot and we'd just have to deal. But then, as we talked more and prayed about how to better ourselves and our situation, many things sort of just fell into place. With our apartment, we decided to stand up for ourselves and fight them, and part of that included getting out of that complex. We had had our eyes on this (much pricier but worth the money) place for a while, and it just so happened that a family was looking for someone to take over their lease two weeks later, which was in the time frame we'd have to move. To afford it, and for a host of other reasons, Paul had been looking for another job for months. But it's hard in this economy anyway, especially without a college degree. Lo and behold, the day that a sweet sister in our ward put our names on the prayer roll in the temple is the day Paul gets approached by an old friend and coworker about a job that had better pay and fewer hours, and within two weeks he had applied for it, interviewed, and accepted it. Money was tight with the move, but we've had opportunities just sort of present themselves where we can earn a few extra dollars here or there. Prayers about small and stupid things have been answered when they usually seem to go unnoticed. People have been extra kind. I feel more hope that things will eventually be okay in my life and more peace that even if they aren't, the Lord still loves me and is willing to show me that, every day.
I just feel so blessed. These kinds of things, and many other small and tender mercies, have been happening a LOT lately. I feel like the Lord took this wonderful talk from President Uchtdorf and said to me, "You know, I'm not just going to tell you all this. I'm going to PROVE it to you." And, frankly, I have needed it. I think we all go through times in our lives where we feel strong enough, or at least solid enough in our testimonies, that *knowing* is enough to get us through. But these last few months I have been struggling with very internal hurts and frustrations and disappointments more than usual, and I have really needed to *feel* that perfect love in my life. I'm so grateful that the Lord knows us, and our needs, so intimately that He can succor us in unique ways at any given time of our lives. But I'm especially grateful that He has shown ME His love in the last month so explicitly that there is no room for doubt or despair. It's such a rejuvenating experience, and what a fresh start!
And if He loves little ol' me, a sinner and a housewife and a nobody, you can bet your life that He loves you, too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
