Birthdays

Here is a preview of the first section, "Birthdays," which are on my mind because it's March and only 4 days until my own...which I keep forgetting...

BIRTHDAYS

Why would we note a birthday at all unless we intended to celebrate it? Birthdays, especially some, serve as “rites of passage” and reminders to all of us about the miracle of life. The miracles of our lives. We gather together the people that are most important to us and we feel, for one day out of the year, what we already know the other 364—that we matter to someone, that our lives have a purpose, that we are of worth, and that life is in itself something worth celebrating.
That being said, children and adults often expect too much out of their special days. Life is expensive and stressful enough without huge, elaborate parties that set you back a ridiculous amount of money, or presents that are over-the-top expensive and that will only get broken or traded or forgotten in the competition of “the next big thing.” Trying to outdo yourself on the cakes, the presents, the decorations, the activities, the number of friends, the favors…year after year after year…child after child after child…sooner or later, you’re going to crack. And then the birthdays, and the children who need to celebrate them, are the ones who will suffer.
So how do you party hardy while keeping your cool and teaching your children to denounce the materialistic trends of the day?

(1) Set a budget. When the child is old enough to work through the details with you, let them in on the action. Teaching kids how much things cost and letting them make choices about what’s most important on those special days is the best way to make sure that you both keep any parties within reason.

(2) Have “special” birthdays with more money in the budget. Growing up, our big birthday parties were at 8, 12, and 16, which worked out wonderfully because those are big birthdays in the Church. (My 8th translated into a 9th because of an ice storm, but I did eventually get it.) I still, with my awful memory, remember those parties vividly because I anticipated them for years instead of weeks.

(3) Provide siblings with a small amount of cash ($5-$10) and access to your ideas and your craft cupboard so they can hand-make thoughtful, creative gifts without spending all your money. (See the section on “ARTS & CRAFTS” for ideas.) Work on these gifts in advance so that no one is rushing around at the last minute and ends up making shoddy presents. Also, make this budget something they have to earn by doing special projects or favors around the house.

(4) Get creative with a themed party. Don’t be afraid to go over-the-top with your ideas, and then find inexpensive substitutes or avenues to make those ideas a reality. Incorporate them into not only the décor, but activities and cakes and costumes and music. You can do a lot for an idea with just a few willing hands.

(5) Learn to make cakes. Invest in a few amazing cake pans and a few essential tips for icing decoration, then have at it! Themed cakes for themed parties will be remembered for so long and are way more affordable if you learn to make and decorate them yourself.

(6) Make at least one gift a book, every time. Children will not learn to love to read if they don’t have that example at home, and they won’t value a good story if it’s just thrown at them haphazardly. Find books by your child’s favorite author, or in their favorite genre, or get recommendations from booklists or other parents, but however you discover the perfect book for their perfect day, make sure to get them one. Every child should have a small library of their own favorite books to escape in, even if they don’t think so yet themselves. As an educator, I've learned that few things affect a child's literacy more than their literary environment at home.

(7) Celebrate birthday week! It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate—at most a dollar a day. But find something small you can do every day to build up the excitement and to let your child (or husband!) know that you remember them well in advance of their actual birthday. Give them full control of the menu that week. Leave a note at the foot of their beds so they wake up to loving words. Send them a letter in the mail with a clue about some of their presents. Exempt them from chores for the week. Whatever you do, make it their week.

(8) Always take pictures. Chances are good that a few years down the line, you’ll have so many birthdays under your belt that they will all bleed into one another. So take pictures and scrapbook them within the month for your child’s scrapbook to keep those memories alive.

(9) Make thank-you cards together. Teach your children how to show appreciation early by making and sending out thank-you cards to family, friends, and others who somehow contributed to their special day.