This is my 2014 Theme!

I've had a few goals/things to do jumbling around in my mind as I pondered 2013 and looked forward to 2014. It's been hard to put into words all my feelings and hopes and sadnesses and I've just struggled to put it together into anything coherent.

I like the idea of a yearly theme instead of resolutions--something to remind me to keep focused on all these happenings all around me and to unite everything into one mantra. I have actual resolutions, too--gratitude 365, daily scripture study, listening to a ted talk every day, starting yoga, being a better teacher that isn't just going through the motions to survive (as I sort of had to last semester for personal reasons)...traveling, getting back in touch with the things I love to do, keeping my love for Paul alive...just being more INTENTIONAL in everything, really.

I love scripture study lately. I've really identified with the lessons Nephi's family learned while traveling through the wilderness. I was reading Nephi's "psalm" this morning (2 Nephi 4) and rediscovered that right in the middle of all his psalming, there's a lovely little verse that starts with the exclamation, "Awake, my soul!" That is exactly what I want to do. I feel like the last four months, while certainly filled with tender moments of learning and love and coming unto the Savior, have also been reactionary, like I've been asleep and dreaming and living somewhere between a nightmare and a peaceful dreamworld (it changes daily, if not hourly). I mentioned before that I am struggling with what my purpose here is, and how I can live a happier, fuller, more service-oriented life so that I WANT to be here. It's really hard when your sweetheart is waiting for you on the other side and you have no one here that *needs* you, but I have learned to be patient. :)

Anyway, rambling aside, this is my 2014 theme. "Awake, my soul!" This means to me that I will *intentionally* do things that help me draw closer to God, to other people, and to the beautiful things in this world that we only get one chance to enjoy. Whenever it IS my time to go, I want to leave peacefully, knowing that I exercised my agency instead of reacting to life as it happened to me, prioritized well, served others, learned lots, and focused on being happy and enjoying life no matter what, inside or outside of me, has challenged that happiness. I struggle to believe that "men are that they might have joy," but I want to believe it, and this year I'm going to try harder to create that joy around and within me, to awaken my soul to the hope, love, peace, and happiness that I know this life can offer.